forgive and forget ?

its been years since i last posted something on this blog~ thinking back 3 years ago i was just been betrayed by a friend i just knew and trusted.. huge mistake.. i didnt knew she would do something like that ~~ but at that very moment i didnt really know how to react .. but to just hide my feeelings deep down inside of me .. tried talking to a counsellor but it didnt work.. not even abit.. had the urge to speak to my past form teacher but it maybe because of it she might have thought that i was a troublemaking student that in the end she didnt really bother about me, whether am i dead or not ... that hurts, but who cares.. that year i really didnt know who did that, as in ruining my life by just twisting my words into actions... but then 2 years ago i learnt about it through people whom i knew, i cried hard, just like how i would react if my parents were gone, when i got home .. couldnt believe it but no matter what i had to take it in like an adult just so that my mom wouldnt suspect a thing.. i cried day and night hoping that i could forget about all of it .. but it didnt work.. so i had to fake it all with a smile when i got back into school .. no one knew what i had gone through but just ME, i wanted so much as in to end the pain through death & pain but couldnt, with the persuasion of a few friends .. but then i had this thought; i wanted so much to know why she had to do it .. getting advice from my godbro on what i should do .. he persuaded me day and nights stopping me from asking her the reason. reason being is that not only is he my godbro but he is also her godbro .. in order for me not hurt my godbro i had to listen to him no matter what .. but im just so hurt by the fact that she betrayed me and could even keep it to herself for 4 years .. until now i really have no idea on what should i do.. confused and messed up with school workload .. family problems and this problem.. even though it is a small problem, i still cant forget about it .. i'll just have to count on myself .. fake a smile and try moving on ~~



(if you were to read this .. im not trying to make you feel guity or what .. but its just a feeling that i want to express through typing, easily typed than said..but no matter what you are still my friend, im sorry if you are offended by what i typed.. and you will still be considered as my sister)
(aint there supposingly suppose to have a reason that i had you as a friend?) :)